Angry men really grieving underneath, says author

Scott McKeen. Edmonton Journal. Edmonton, Alta.: Jun 23, 2008. pg. A.10

This one's for men who seethe inwardly, men who rage outwardly and men whose reflexive anger protects them from hurt feelings.

In other words, it's for the vast majority of men in our society. Last Monday I wrote about the psychological void in most men caused by emotionally distant fathers.
Today's column is about how that void is oft filled with anger -- one of the few emotions men feel safe to express, along with laughter and lust.

Calvin Sandborn's book, Becoming the Kind Father, is today's inspiration. Sandborn is in town to give a workshop on the topic of male anger.

Lest you think his book and workshop is only for violent spouses, think again. Physical violence is the rare but shameful expression of a common darkness in the hearts of men.
And lest ... Read More »

I am the Program Director of the Anger Management Institute of Texas.  We offer anger management services and are located in Houston, Texas.  Read More »

Empathy is the ability to recognize and respond to other peoples’ emotions. It is connected to optimism because it is through a sense of our connections to others that we see our own sense of well-being and importance. Another word for this is “conscience”. Together they govern a large part of our behavior. They are the gatekeepers of our emotional selves. When we are empathic, it affects us when we hurt others and/or when we see them hurt. We actually experience for ourselves the emotions of others. It becomes a motivation not only to do what makes us feel good, but also what makes others feel good. Thus, empathy is the force that makes the Golden Rule true.

It Starts At Birth

Some parts of empathy are instinctive. Infants will reach out and touch others in distress. In maternity wards, one infant’s tears will lead to a room full of crying babies. This mimicry is the first step toward forming empathy.

Anderson and Anderson Anger Management/Emotional Intelligence consultant and faculty member, T. L. Wentz, Ph.D., was an invited panelist who participated in the Fifth Annual Public Defender’s Juvenile Justice Summit in San Francisco, May 14, 2008, hosted by Mr. Jeffrey Adachi, Director, San Francisco Public Defender’s Office.  This year’s theme for the conference was “Less Talk, More Action:  Solutions for Safe Schools and Safe Streets” and focused upon reducing violence in San Francisco’s schools and high-risk communities among students.

The host, Mr. Adachi, in his conference-opening remarks, made special note and “thanked Mr. George Anderson, Executive Director of Anderson and Anderson Anger Management, the world’s largest provider of Anger Management/Emotional Intelligence training for the presence and participation of his consultant, Dr. Tom Wentz, an expert on Anger Management a ... Read More »

Anger management is not just for crazed maniacs or disgruntled executives. Learning how to manage minor and major irritations is something everyone needs to do. You may want to start by obtaining general anger management information and progress to enrolling in an anger management class. But first you need to recognize classic symptoms of uncontrolled rage that will alert you to the need for anger management.

Everyone loses their temper at times. There is no shame attached to getting upset when the dog has an accident on a freshly scrubbed carpet or a subordinate fails to complete a needed report for your one p.m. meeting. But if you find that you react in extreme ways, it may be time to consider anger management.

Anger Management - When Anger Turns to Danger

Do you raise your voice when things don’t go your way? Some people who are normally mild-mannered turn into yellers or screamers during a conflict ... Read More »

From time to time I’m asked to explain what anger management classes are all about, so I decided to post, with her permission, one of my students’ class reviews. Her review explains the positive effects anger management services can have on individuals as well as couples.

1. Did you benefit from taking the classes, if so how?

This class helped Jim and I realize how ineffective and detrimental our communication techniques have been when dealing with conflict between us. We learned how beneficial the constructive interactions are, enabling us to reach agreement, compromise, and state our needs and feelings – resulting in a win-win arrangement. And we’re happy, not angry!

2. Did you find the facilitator (Gregory Kyles) knowledgeable about anger management?

Yes, absolutely. Greg’s ... Read More »

Anger management is a force to be reckoned with. Anderson & Anderson, along with many other anger management providers who are certified under George Anderson, are doing their best to promote the anger management movement. It should be made clear to all providers, as well as people who are interested in becoming providers, that anger management is useful for training clients to excel in four areas: anger management, stress management, assertive communication, and emotional intelligence. Anger management is for clients who have anger issues that have caused them to be at odds with their families, perfect strangers, the justice system (e.g., committing misdemeanors that require them to pay heavy fines or seek anger management as an ultimatum), or with themselves (if they believe it is necessary to seek anger management in order to improve in the above four areas). With this in mind, it behooves us to explain what anger management must not be used for.

Anger management is not ... Read More »

Domestic Violence Interventions and Anger Management is not Equal I gave a presentation on anger management this week and I was asked–What is the difference between domestic abuse and anger? One of my colleagues– George Anderson gave an explanation which I resonate with and which I shared with my audience. He stated that those with inappropriate anger often direct it at any and every one however domestic violence is only direct at those in close relationship with the perpetrator.

Therefore it is likely that the perpetrator of DV will appear fine to the rest of the worlds while they terrorize those in their own home. I can attest to this because I was raised in a home where DV was common place. My step-father was violent at home in public he was the nicest person—this often created confusion in the publics mind.

This difference between DV interventions and anger management is important for courts. Judges and lawyers need to be made ... Read More »